17. Lewis Skolnick is a rapist, Chapter 2 continued from Sparky's Dream

When I returned to Stereofish the room was filled with the familiar chugga, chugga intrinsic to On a Rope by Rocket From The Crypt. Yelling above the noise, Max and Chunk were discussing the egregious geek classic, Revenge of the Nerds.

Chunk had this persistent intuition that something about the film was wrong. He was right, Lewis Skolnick was a rapist. Let's review the facts. Lewis and his nerd buddies poached underwear from pretty coeds, surreptitiously planted hidden cameras in the women's dorm rooms (illegal in most states I believe) and Lewis masqueraded as Stan Gable (Ted McGinley) to sleep with Stan's girlfriend, Betty.

Compounding matters up that last point, Lewis repeatedly harassed Betty to date him, knowing I might add, that she had a boyfriend. When she declined, Mr. Skolnick constructed an unscrupulous scheme which infringed on Betty’s privacy. He used secret video surveillance to see her tits and other favourable bodily parts, all in the name of love.

I don't know about you but that seems like stalking and criminal harassment to me. Somehow, throughout their transgressions we cheered on those lovable nerds. Sure, those Alpha-Betas were a bit mean to them, but when was the last time “mean” was illegal? I say, bring back those Alpha-Betas jocks to kick some nerd ass and this time around you’ll have my utmost endorsement. Don’t hate Stan because he’s beautiful Lewis.